Pampering....

The whole idea of pampering oneself has always been a bit foreign to me.  Growing up, I always associated someone who "pampered" themselves with someone who was snobby and thought they were better than everyone else.  I never had any interest in pampering myself.
 Some part of me was always afraid that if I took the time to put on the makeup and smelly lotions and go out shopping for clothes.... that I was just playing into the "rich girl" mentality.  And the last thing I wanted anyone to think of me was that I was the rich kid who could get and do anything I wanted.  Probably not what would have happened, but that's the way I saw it.  Besides that, I was a pretty big tomboy.  I liked getting dirty.  For one of my dates that I went on, we started out mountain biking and ended up mudsliding into the lake we were supposed to be biking around.  And then we painted each other's faces with blackberries.  No, not very girlie... but a whole heck of a lot of fun! 

This has continued into my adult life.  I still love to go out and stand in the rain.  Mud doesn't bother me in the least... except now that I actually DO have to clean my own clothes, I'm a little more observant about what I wear when getting dirty.  Baths have always been quick.  Just as quick as a shower...  get in, soap up, wash hair, shave if need be,and get out.  The times I DID try to actually "soak" in a tub, I just got bored and couldn't do it.  I kept thinking of the other 40 million things I had to do.  (That's one thing I have inherited from my mom...  my brain just won't turn off and let me relax much.  When I finally have some peace and quiet, all I can do is think about all the things I should be doing.  Practicing some tai chi  or yoga would probably help with that.  Hopefully that will enter my list of rituals that I do... but I'm not pushing it, because I don't want to feel so overwhelmed that I stop.  Anyway... back to the pampering.....)

So, a few weeks ago I was noticing just how inflexible I am.  I used to be one of the most flexible people around.  No amount of stretching was too much for me.  Usually I was so flexible that it was hard for me to feel "stretched".  After two kids, some hip problems from a few years ago, and general lack of exercise and stretching, I ache a lot.  It became painfully clear to me in one INSTANT that I need to do better.  It's just not an optional thing.  I HAVE to take better care of myself, if for no other reason than for my kids.  Again, that is one huge reason why I have undertaken this house task.  If my house is in order, then I'll have no voice in the back of my head saying, "you don't want to go to the gym, you have to clean the house".  Not that it ever got done, because once I saw how much I had to do with my house, I became completely unmotivated and never did any of it.  Anyway, the point is, it has to happen.  I have to eat healthier, exercise more, and just overall treat my body better.  After all, it's not like I can order a replacement body.  This is it folks, I don't get a trade-in or a do-over.  And then it was like I had an epiphany!  Maybe all those people I know who pamper themselves with lotions and creams, and make up and manicures, pedicures, etc...  maybe they aren't all just being vain and snobby!  What if they realize something I haven't?  What if they are just taking care of themselves and making sure that their bodies are good places to live in?  Is it so bad if someone wants to look great all the time?  So about a week ago I started trying out the pampering, a little.  I now LOVE going to bed with my face scrubbed, cleansed, and moisturized.  I like keeping my nails trimmed so they don't break or cut.  And I'll go get a pedicure soon.  I even like going shopping for new clothes now...  well, at Goodwill, anyway.  You still won't get me inside a mall for any good amount of time. 

Here's the thing that I know now.  I have always believed that in order to honor the divine spirit, you have to honor yourself too.  I believe that the divine is in everyone and everything.  I have always done a pretty good job at respecting others as well as the world around me.... except for myself.  And, by extension, my house.  There is a difference between self-respect and egoism.  And I'm going to respect myself a bit more. 

Another change I'm implementing beginning tonight is my bedtime.  I'm giving myself one, lol.  I've been studying "sleep" in class.  I'm reading a wonderful book by Dr. Dement, the pioneer on sleep research.  It's called The Promise of Sleep.  This is an amazing book that shows just how sleep-deprived our nation is.  I always seem to be reading it after the kids have gone to bed, and after Mikey and I have relaxed to some TV.  Of course, by that time it's at least 11:00 and I start to read in bed.  Usually that's okay for me.  But, as you can imagine, this book practically screams, "Don't read now!  GO TO SLEEP!!!"  That's all I can think of while reading it, anyway.  He is constantly telling me how badly I need sleep.  Inevitably I listen and put the book down.  Great for my sleep, but not so great for my studying.  So I'm hoping to go up to my room by 9:00, and then get to sleep by 10:00.  If I can do all that I need to do and still get to sleep by 10:00, I'll be doing better than I've done in about 15 years.  I'm sure that will make a huge impact on my day as well. 

Speaking of...  9:00 is almost here.  So, goodnight all.  I have some pampering and some studying to do.